Whacko in Waco

Turns out that maybe G.W. Bush isn't the biggest dumbass in Texas. At least Georgie Boy never stabbed a friend for farting. Well, not that we know of...

WACO, Texas (AP) - Police said a fight over flatulence left one man stabbed and another facing an assault charge. A statement Wednesday said police were called to a motel where several men from the Houston area were sharing a room. Police said a 35-year-old man allegedly passed gas in the room Tuesday night.

Police said one of the other men became upset, picked up a knife and threw it at the 35-year-old man, who was cut in the leg. The suspect was accused of then stabbing the man in the chest.

The 35-year-old was taken to the hospital and police said he was treated for non-life threatening wounds.

The alleged attacker was arrested and faces an aggravated assault charge.

And speaking of Dumbasses that drive

I know that this sounds like a Polish joke (did I mention that I am not politically correct?), but a woman in my lovely state of Florida (2000 election anyone?) actually locked herself in her car. That's right!

A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday. A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.

"My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said. "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."

The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door.

The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."

Sigh...no word on whether or not she's allowed to keep her driver license. You can read the real story here.

You Might be a Redneck if...

If you have ever been caught driving a motorized bar stool while intoxicated, you might just be a redneck. Really, you just can't make this kind of shit up.

Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.
Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.

Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries. Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.
Wygle has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.

Now, I hesitated to even put this guy up on Dumbassery simply because of the genius that went into not only thinking up, but actually building a motorized bar stool. Think about it, this guy built the conveyance to get him to and from the bar, AND provide him with a place to sit and drink while at the bar. The only reason Mr. Wygle would ever even have to get up off his ass would be to go and make room for more beer.

On second thought, maybe instead of being featured on Dumbassery, this guy should be featured on Bud Light's "Real Men of Genius"...

Thank you, Rod!

This is my first entry for my new blog, "Dumbassery", so I wanted to take a moment to thank Rod Blagojevich. You see, Rod was the inspiration behind Dumbassery because, well, do I really need to explain why? Can there be a bigger display of dumbassery than trying to sell a Senate seat formerly occupied by the President of the United States? I mean, seriously, can you honestly think that you won't get caught? So, here's to you, Blago!